WAY TO THE PERFECT FAMILY

Throughout the year, there are many holy days that we celebrate with fervor, but what is the use of celebration if we do not learn a lesson from each holy day?

MahaShivratri is a day we celebrate once a year to specially pray and remember Lord Shiva. Generally, the celebration involves bathing Lord Shiva or the Shiv Ling with milk and water and, nowadays, drinking “Bhaang.” However, these celebrations are meaningless if we do not learn from MahaShivratri.

Since it is the day of Lord Shiva, let us consider the physical aspects and family members of Lord Shiva. Notably, each aspect is totally opposite and an enemy of each other. For instance, Lord Shiva does not pay attention to his attire, living in animal skin, with no ornaments, no satin robes, no crown, no necklaces—nothing. In fact, he wears a necklace of serpents, has ash rubbed on his forehead, and his hair is disheveled. On the other hand, his consort Parvati is all beautiful and graceful, delicate, and adorned with sparkling ornaments. Despite their physical opposites, Parvati never complains about her Lord. In fact, she will go to any extent to please him.

Further considering Lord Shiva’s physical aspects, the Ganges River flows from his locks of hair, and on his forehead is his THIRD EYE, which, when opened, spells nothing but Fire (Destruction). Water (Ganges) and fire are totally opposite. Lord Shiva has a crescent on his head symbolizing nectar (Amrit), while he also has poison in the form of snakes around his neck—again, both opposites.

Regarding Lord Shiva’s family members and their vehicles, Parvati sits on a lion, whereas the Nandi Bull is Lord Shiva’s favorite. A lion’s best food is the bull, making them enemies. Lord Shiva’s son, younger Ganesh, has a rat as his vehicle, which is food to the snake around Lord Shiva’s neck. Additionally, Lord Shiva’s elder son, Kartikeya, is not happy that his younger brother Ganesh is more popular and more worshipped than him.

Despite all these enmities and oppositions, we never hear of unrest, disputes, or jealousy in Lord Shiva’s family. Each member performs their duties in total peace and harmony. Each member of a household must always have one attitude towards their house and other members: they must always think of themselves as the SEVAK (servant/helper) of the house, not the boss. No matter if they are the main breadwinner, they must consider themselves as doing Seva for their house and family members. Guruji says that if everyone has a Sevak attitude at home, there will be no expectations from other family members, only a desire to serve the household.

The most important result of this attitude is that egos will be completely subdued. Since everyone is a Sevak, there will be no bosses, hence no egos. Once the ego is killed, where is the problem? All problems in households today stem from ego/pride—”Why did he not respect ME today?” or “How did this person say this to ME today?” The “ME” is nothing but ego. Let us all try to serve and help at home instead of trying to be the boss and expecting others to serve us.

As devotees, we must learn that in our lives, we will face opposition from family, friends, and society. We may encounter enmity and jealousy, but we must stick to our aim and duties (Dharma) with a peaceful mind, without ill feelings, arguments, or violence.

A housewife must have the right attitude while doing her daily chores. It is often seen in households that housewives either lack the energy to do all the housework, get too tired, and then complain and take out their frustration on other family members. It is also seen that food often tastes bad, is insufficient for the whole family or sudden guests, and more food has to be cooked.

The easiest way for ladies to avoid these shortcomings and remain happy regardless of the workload is to think that whatever they are doing at home is for the Lord or her Guru. If she cooks, it is for the Lord/Guru. If she cleans, it is for Their house. If she does other chores, it is only for the Lord/Guru. This way, whatever food is cooked will be tasty and sufficient, no matter how many people eat. It will always give good vibrations to those consuming the food, resulting in a happy and caring household. The husband will remain happy, and the children will turn out more intelligent and worthy.

Work done with this attitude will never tire a housewife. She will take full interest in her work and work with happiness because she will always think that all this is being done for the Supreme Lord. The biggest example is the Gopis during the time of Lord Krishna. Guruji says that they worked maybe 10 times more than today’s people, without the help of machines, but they always thought they were working for Lord Krishna, whom they loved the most. Even when they ate food, it was considered the Lord’s Prasad.

A message to all households: let us try to change our attitude at work and see and feel the difference.

Summary

The article discusses the deeper significance of MahaShivratri beyond the traditional rituals, urging devotees to learn from the life and family dynamics of Lord Shiva. Despite the stark contrasts and natural enmities within Lord Shiva’s family, harmony and peace prevail because each member performs their duties without ego, embodying a selfless attitude of service. The article extends this lesson to household life, suggesting that by adopting a “Sevak” mindset—viewing all household work as service to the Lord or Guru—individuals can overcome ego, reduce conflict, and create a happier, more harmonious home environment.

Important Points

1. MahaShivratri’s True Lesson: Beyond rituals, it teaches us to learn from Lord Shiva’s life.
2. Lord Shiva’s Family Dynamics: Despite natural enmities, peace and harmony prevail.
3. Sevak Attitude: Viewing oneself as a servant in the household can reduce ego and conflict.
4. Ego as the Root of Problems: Most household issues stem from ego, which can be subdued with a service-oriented mindset.
5. Role of Housewives: By seeing household chores as service to the Lord/Guru, housewives can find joy and avoid exhaustion.
6. Impact of Attitude on Work: Work done with devotion leads to better outcomes and a harmonious household.
7. Gopis as an Example: The Gopis of Lord Krishna are cited as ideal examples of devotion through service.
8. Practical Application: The article encourages readers to adopt these attitudes to experience positive changes in their lives.